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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the reliable retreat for daily publications, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and milestones, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to discover that an online journalist Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs within his residence. Consider the situation regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, the controversial forward popped into a local college for toilet purposes back in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered through the school like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle with FA director David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The restroom stalls. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his stint as England manager “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably over the past twenty-five years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for women's football cup news from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes match officials were formerly exposed to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights on the school grounds with children he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|